When you’ve alphabetized the books on your shelf, Life pulls them all out into a pile on the floor.
When you’re busy making dinner, Life steals the permanent marker and draws on the kitchen table.
When you’ve put away the vacuum cleaner, Life dumps cereal on the carpet and holds a dance competition.
And you wonder why Life (who is billions of years old instead of just two) doesn’t know better by now.
Why Life doesn’t give you a freaking break.
Yes, Life inspires you to halfway swear.
Life is getting on your very last nerve.
Life is flitting about the room, giddy, because you’re realizing, yet again, that you can’t force it to do anything.
This is the point where even the most mild mannered, peace-loving person would beat the living snot out of Life.
You’d ball up your fist and feel the crack of your knuckles against its jaw.
It would hurt like hell and you’d just keep hitting.
Preferring the stinging of muscles and bones and skin to the smug grin on Life’s face.
Because Life is not a child.
Life knows exactly what it’s doing and it is enjoying it.
So civilized people must rise up and say, “That’s too much! You’ve gone too far, Life!”
And Life laughs and Life sticks out its tongue and hotwires your car so it can drive it off a cliff.
And you shake your fist and cry out, “You’ll never get away with this, Life!”
Because, like parents of toddlers and teenagers, you have SO MUCH power over this little imp who is so bent on defeating you.
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